On Having Standards

Self examination can be cruel but sometimes necessary. During the last 8 months or so, I have been re-evaluating my priorities and closely examining my relationships.

It hasn't been pretty.

There are some things that I was tolerating because I wanted certain people in my life. Things that were in direct conflict with the behaviors I had always considered important in my friendships. Once I pulled myself away from these individuals I realized that I had allowed myself to deviate from my personal standard excessively and in the process became less.

This is not acceptable to me.

It's strange. Regardless of the behavior of these people, I still did not cross the line into their craziness. I just became horribly immature. But still, it was not the behavior of the person I've worked all my life to become.

I was and still am embarrased.

This is where my self-imposed etiquette training during my teenage years becomes handy. I've been working on establishing boundaries during the past year. At first it was pretty abrupt. Everyone thought that I was clincally depressed so I had to ease into it. I've been polite, professional, even friendly with some of these people without allowing them access into my personal life.

But still, I've noticed that this is the era of TMI. There are just some things that I really do not need to know about people. I sometimes just want to look at some of these people in the eye and ask if they have any standards. But that would just be the pot calling the kettle black.

Anyway, I'm back into my old-fashioned way of being. I no longer care what they think.